FAQs

Procreate or Pass™ is a conversation card deck designed to help people think more intentionally about one of life's biggest decisions: whether or not to have children. The 250+ cards cover emotional readiness, finances, relationships, health, identity, systemic factors, and more — not to steer you toward any particular answer, but to ensure you've actually asked the questions.

It's more of a structured conversation tool than a game — though it can absolutely be used in a relaxed, social setting. There are no winners, no points, and no right answers. The goal is honest, thoughtful dialogue.

The deck spans 21 categories, including financial readiness, relationship dynamics, physical and mental health, family systems, identity, grief, cultural expectations, and life vision. Some cards are practical. Some are deeply personal. All of them are designed to start conversations most people never have — until they're already in them.

Search results give you lists. PoP gives you a mirror. The deck is built to surface your values, your circumstances, and your blind spots — not a generic checklist written for an imaginary average person.

Not at all. People use PoP across the full spectrum — those who are leaning toward parenthood and want to prepare thoughtfully, those who have already decided not to have children and want language to articulate or affirm that choice, and everyone genuinely in the middle. The deck isn't trying to move you in any direction. It's trying to make sure you're moving intentionally.

No. The deck works for solo reflection, couples, friend groups, family conversations, book clubs, and even classroom or workshop settings. Some cards are written with a partner in mind; others are purely individual.

Yes, intentionally. The deck uses inclusive language and engages with the full range of ways people build (or choose not to build) families — including same-sex partnerships, transgender and nonbinary individuals, single-parent paths, co-parenting, adoption, assisted reproduction, and more. If you've ever felt like mainstream "should I have kids" content wasn't written for you, PoP was built to close that gap.

Yes. Questions about faith, family legacy, community expectations, and the spiritual dimensions of parenthood are woven throughout the deck. PoP doesn't ask you to abandon your values — it invites you to examine whether the choices you're making are truly your own.

Race, culture, and systemic inequity are not afterthoughts in PoP — they're embedded in the deck. Cards address topics like maternal health disparities, intergenerational trauma, cultural pressure around legacy and lineage, and what it means to raise children in a world that may not protect them the way it should. These aren't bonus cards. They're part of the core conversation.

There's no hard age requirement, but the deck is designed for adults or mature teens navigating real questions about their futures. Some content touches on mental health, finances, and relational dynamics that may require some life experience to engage with meaningfully.

Draw a card. Read it. Talk about it — or sit with it. That's really it. There's no prescribed order, no rulebook, no pressure to finish the deck in one sitting. You can use PoP as a starting point for a single meaningful conversation or return to it over months.

Yes. Many people find PoP valuable for solo journaling, quiet reflection, or processing thoughts before bringing them to a partner or therapist. The questions are written to be useful whether you're speaking them aloud or writing the answers in a notebook.

That's not a malfunction — that's the work. Some questions may surface grief, fear, trauma, or tension you haven't fully examined yet. We'd encourage you to approach those moments with care: pause, breathe, and if needed, bring what came up to a therapist, trusted friend, or counselor. PoP is a catalyst, not a substitute for support.

There's no wrong way. Some people use it chronologically by category; others shuffle and draw randomly; others use specific categories based on where they are in their decision-making. The Resource Hub at procreateorpasshub.com offers additional context, research, and support for many of the topics the cards address.

PoP was created by Jovane Jacobs — a Marine veteran, journalist, and author — who found herself approaching 40 with a decision she'd never fully examined. She noticed that most people arrive at parenthood (or non-parenthood) by default, not by design. The deck is her answer to that gap. It launched on May 14, 2026 — her 40th birthday.

Neither. PoP takes no position on whether you should or shouldn't have children. It is firmly pro-decision — meaning it believes people deserve the space and tools to make this choice consciously, with full information and honest self-reflection, regardless of which direction they're heading.

That's exactly why. The conversation about reproductive choice — including the choice to have children — has never been more urgent or more contested. PoP doesn't enter that political debate. It offers something more personal: a space to think clearly about what you actually want, separate from what you've been told to want.

No. The deck is not an advocacy tool for any reproductive rights position. It exists to help people examine their own values, circumstances, and desires — and individual cards may prompt reflection on topics like bodily autonomy, unplanned pregnancy, or access to care, but always through the lens of your thinking, not ours.

Yes. Cards throughout the deck engage with questions of faith, spiritual calling, community expectation, and how religious belief intersects with family planning. The deck doesn't advocate for or against any faith tradition — it asks questions that help you understand how your beliefs are shaping your choices.

These are real, painful, and often invisible parts of many people's stories. PoP approaches these topics with care. Cards in the grief, health, and identity categories acknowledge that the parenthood decision is not always simply a matter of choice — and that loss and limitation are part of many people's relationship to this question.

The concern is understandable given how charged this topic has become. PoP was built deliberately to be useful across political and ideological lines — not because we believe the decision to have children is apolitical (it isn't), but because your decision deserves to be made on your own terms. The deck doesn't tell you what to think. It asks what you actually do think.

The deck has no such purpose. It's used every day by people who are actively preparing for parenthood — examining their readiness, strengthening their partnerships, thinking through finances and health and values before they take that step. Conscious preparation is not the same as discouragement.

Yes. A belief in the importance of family, faith, and legacy is entirely compatible with the kind of intentional reflection PoP encourages. In fact, the deck includes questions that speak directly to legacy, generational continuity, and what it means to be part of something larger than yourself.

Yes — but not for discomfort's sake. The questions that feel hardest to ask are often the ones most worth asking. That's true whether the discomfort comes from financial insecurity, unresolved relationships, fear of repeating family patterns, or simply facing a choice you've been putting off. PoP creates permission to go there.